ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
