We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
