I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
