you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
