yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
