I look better un-naked...
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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