i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
