First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Come back. Shots need mouths.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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