I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
