she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
