Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
