she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
