woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize