May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
