but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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