i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize