his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
