you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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