I skipped work to stalk him.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize