New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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