Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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