Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
