As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Randomize