If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
