I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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