oh god the rape fog is back!
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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