Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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