My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
