I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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