i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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