...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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