hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
time to smoke my breakfast
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
