Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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