I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize