I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
