i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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