I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
