I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
