WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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