He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
i think my cat just said my name.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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