you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
