Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
