I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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