I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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