Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
