Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
