We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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