I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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