And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
