if you like me you must not know who I am
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
