remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
We are all done wearing pants today
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
