is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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