PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
