rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
