I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
