y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
