you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
