youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize