I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
