Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
