We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
she smelled like a LAN party
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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