D3 body, D1 cock
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
