If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
